You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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