I hate all girls vehemently.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
