i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
