Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
