okay pat passed out under dana's car
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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