Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you win again, gameday.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
