Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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