she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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