I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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