my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
