The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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