its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
