i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
