She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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