Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
