I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
