yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
