i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We need a shit load of segways right now
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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