Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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