just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
