Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
