Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
