dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
