How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
