mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
