I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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