you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
