Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We had sex on a dog bed..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
