Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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