$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
