i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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