You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
