I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
