I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
stop calling my apartment porn island.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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