But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this boner is exhausting
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
