Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
