A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is wine microwaveable?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
