Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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