I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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