If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
