why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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