dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
