I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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