WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
