do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
only you would photoshop your dick
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
