saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
