RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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