Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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