I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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