Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
