Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
